Alright, so, I wanted to take a chance and write out a few things that are a little "different" for me living in this country.  This is probably going to be a semi-incoherent list, but it's more of some factual information to provide you.  

I may be in a different country, but I'll never stop being Meredith.  I'm organizing these key points into categories for ease of understanding.  :)

Lifestyle:

• The sewer system here can't handle toilet paper, which means all, and I mean ALL toilet paper has to be thrown in a garbage can.
• It is very appropriate for men to be affectionate with one another in public (i.e. holding hands, etc), but I have seen very little PDA from men to women.  In fact, I don't that I've seen any.
• It was 92 degrees today during the hot part of the day, but is actually chilly enough to need pants and a sweatshirt for nighttime.

Food/Shopping

• There aren't Wal-marts or Targets.  Really.  Most of the shops seem to be about six feet by eight feet.  I feel a little claustrophobic.  
  
• Most food seems to be purchased on a day-to-day basis.
• Hummus, pitas, falafel, fresh fruit and vegetables, olive oil, and tons of food that I can't even fathom how to spell is amazing.  Seriously.  
• Everything is bought by heckling; the price tags are for tourists.  
• The marketplace is called the souk in the Old City and you can purchase everything from underwear to raw squid to hot pink pickled cauliflower there.  Trust me on the cauliflower.  We bought a kilo of it for a "bizarre food party" we had with some of various other American volunteers here.

Israeli-Palestinian Conflict

• Israelis have 224 liters of water per month.  Palestinians are allowed 60.  Some towns have as little as 30 liters.  That means, 30 liters to cook, shower, drink, etc, etc.
• Water is stored in black barrels on the roof.  To add insult to injury, there was a point when Israeli forces where particularly angry with Palestinians, they shot holes in the black water barrels.
• The "security fence" is a wall, with watch towers.  It looks like something out of Auschwitz.  There's a lot of graffiti painted on it, including several spots where it says, "Paid for by the USA."  Our tax dollars actually illegally going to support building the wall.
• The wall separates whole villages.  The main road to Bethlehem was cut off and businesses were basically destroyed for the wall to be built.
• There are roads here that are only for Israelis.  Palestinians aren't allowed on those roads...like, at all.  Let me add that, Bethlehem to Jerusalem is like, maybe a 20 minute drive (I think).

Alright, that's all I can remember for right now.  I'm going to try to attach a few pictures of the "security fence" and a bulldozed Palestinian home.  There's a lot going on with building permits here.  I'll write more about that later, but I have to be up early for a review of our Arabic lesson.  

Heavenly Father,
Thank you for this day.  Thank you for the opportunity to open my eyes to see the pain in this world.  Thank you for starting to teach me to enjoy the moments.  Thank you for giving these people hope.  Please be with the Gulf Coast of the US, Mexico City, Georgia, India, Tibet, and the numerous other places that need you desperately there present in volunteers and neighbors.  Father God, I just thank you for giving us this world.  Help us protect it and care for another.  Please also watch over my friends and family.  God, I ask all these things in your Son's most precious and holy name, Amen.

Peace...Shalom...Salam

Hey all!

So, I wasn't ready to post a lot, but I figured I'd put a few pictures up for my mom's sake.  So, yeah, here are some pictures from our adventures thus far.  I have lots more I want to put up, but the Internet here is being fishy.  It will come in time, I promise.  

We went down into the Old City of Jerusalem today and walked through the souk, which is the underground marketplace.  I guess the only way to explain it in our American schema, without the pictures I tried to load just now, is to compare it to Aladdin.  Yes, Aladdin.  You walk down these little cobblestone alleys packed with people and goods.  It smells deeply of spices and freshly-made pita bread.  You see lots of hanging tapestries and beautiful clothing.  It's really cool!  We had an awesome exclusive tour with a guy recommended by Bishop Younan, who we met later in the day.  This guy, named Albert, gave us a brief history of Israel, then took us up to the roof to show us Jerusalem via rooftop.  It was amazing.  We went for hummus and pitas afterwards, which was twice as amazing.  Fresh hummus with olive oil and pine nuts...YUM!  I'm really overjoyed at the food we've had thus far: tons of fresh cucumbers and tomatoes, real yogurt (not banana flavored!), fresh pitas, hummus, fruit, etc, etc.  We also saw what appeared to be a herd of kindergarten boys running through the little streets, all clad in Spiderman bookbags.  Two of them started to wrestle in a pile of cardboard boxes in the street; it was so adorable!  The bus system is interesting here, because the Israeli buses are nice, air-conditioned coach buses, while the Arab buses are rather old and tired looking red buses, with open sides.  I'm sure I'll learn more about that.  

We're headed to the West Bank tomorrow, so I'm really excited for that.  I'm a little nervous about passing through the checkpoints at the "security fence," but I gather that Americans, especially us blonde/blue-eyed Americans, are ushered through rather quickly and painlessly.  I think this will be hard to watch Palestinians wait and get denied entrance though.  

We had an interesting conversation with a man who is a legal consultant for the United Nations yesterday.  He was not optimistic about the whole situation between the Israelis and the Palestinians.  In fact, he quoted Peace, Shalom, Salam, and said that it wasn't possible.  This resonated with me, because we had sung the song, "Peace, Shalom, Salam" for our morning devotion yesterday.  Although, he's lived here for a very long time, so we're thinking that he may not hate it as much as he says, but maybe has hardened himself to dealing with the every day sights of people struggling to find justice in the world.  Not really sure about that one.

Alright, I am pretty tired, as it's midnight here, but 5pm at home, so I'm going to find sleepytime.  These captions are messed up right now, but please use your best judgement in figuring them out for now until I'm more coherent to fix them.

This is a view from the top roof of the apartment of the President of the Palestinian branch of Coca-Cola.  We had an exclusive tour of Jerusalem via rooftop.  It was pretty sweet.  You can see the gold cupola is the Dome of the Rock, where the Muslims believe Muhammed ascended into heaven.  You can also see the three towers in the background on the horizon.  The furthest left is for Hebrew University.  The middle one is for the Christian Ascension Church, where the Christians believe Christ ascended.  The furthest right one is where the Jewish people believe Christ ascended.

Another view from the roof!

Welcome to Jerusalem!

Alright, it's official: I'm in Israel.  

We had an awesome week of YAGM Orientation stuff, where we built relationships with those around us, as well as have sessions on security, racism, and globalization.  It was a heavy week, to say the least.  There were a lot of conversations where I walked away feeling totally drained.  I loved it, don't get me wrong!  We had a lot of time talking about the problems within the church at large, as well as the world.  A lot of the topics were new for me (i.e. the International Money Fund, etc), but I loved talking about it.

We flew out of Chicago around 5:30pm GMT (I think that's the time zone Chicago is in), had a brief layover in London, then onto Tel Aviv.  We arrived at Tel Aviv around 3:30pm in this time zone, which is a seven hour difference from home...I think.  Needless to say, we've been traveling for awhile and I am beat! 

After thorough questioning in customs, we were warmly received at the airport by our country coordinator, his wife, and the wife of a pastor serving at one of the churches in the ELCJHL, which is the synod of the Evangelical Lutheran Church of Jordan and the Holy Land.  This synod as six churches (I think...I could be wrong right now), in the area.  We drove from Tel Aviv to Jerusalem and found our place on the Mount of Olives for the next two weeks or so.  We're staying at the Augusta Victoria Guest House, which, as I mentioned, is on the Mount of Olives.  Yes, my friends, I can see the Dome of the Rock from my window and apparently the "old city" too.  The guest house is a part of the Lutheran World Federation campus in Jerusalem, which includes the Augusta Victoria Hospital, a kindergarten, and some other buildings I'm sure we'll tour tomorrow.  

I still really haven't fathomed the intensity of this experience.  In fact, I'm not even sure I believe that I'm going to sleep in Israel...on the Mount of Olives.  We could hear the call to worship tonight off in the distance for one of the muslim mosques; it was beautiful, but hard to hear.  I just still don't know how real this is to me, versus how insanely wild this is.  I'm not sure.  I really need sleep though, so I'll try to update sooner rather than later on our first adventures.

Dear God,
Thank you for safe travels today.  Please give us energy to go forth and see where you want to use us for this year and this lifetime.  Be with my family and friends as they experience this through me.  Please be with all who suffer from the political situation here.  Amen.

Much love,
Meredith

Just 'cause.

Camp has officially ended. Saturday night was our closing staff worship and a rather intense one at that. I don't think I've ever cried so much at that worship, which makes sense, because this is the last one I'll have. It was strange. I walked up to worship like normal, feeling like it wouldn't really phase me. I was fine until we hit the Lord's Prayer. This has become a key point in my faith. It really hits me how profound this is. We have a prayer that we say, as Christians, to talk to God in a normal way, but to remind us who we are and whose we are. It moves me. I started to cry...and continued to cry through the rest of the worship. I hugged lots of staff members and cried lots of tears. It was crazy to look and see how many of the staff were once my campers!

After worship was over, I had the intention of driving home, which is what I always do. I leave immediately after worship. I was convinced to come to Rita's for dessert, which never happens. I drove separately though and pulled up to the office to grab the last of my belongings out of my box. I left my car running during this, mind you. I saw Randy's light on and went back to say goodbye. I gave him a hug and started to cry. It's crazy to look back and remember signing my contract for my first summer on staff. I never knew that it would lead me to four amazing summers on staff and a lifetime of love and community. Randy and I talked about the chaos that is this whole Jerusalem thing and what it means for my life. I won't give you all the details of our conversation, but I will tell you that he put me at ease for this opportunity. I feel like I am an open vessel to be used for God's purpose. Yes, this is scary, but I don't think I could prepare anymore. I need to buy some batteries and Ibuprofen, get my Hepatitis A, Hepatitis B, Tetanus, and Typhoid vaccinations, and pack my luggage, but other than that, I am as ready as I'll ever be! How can you prepare yourself for a year in a different country? It's not about over planning and figuring out all the details; it's about being open. I'm open. I'm ready to experience it. I'm excited to step off the plane in Tel Aviv and smell Israel ("Mmm....that's good!") I'm excited to see what my flat is going to look like and where my school is, but more to see the cobblestone streets that Christ walked on in his life and towards his death.

I had another goodbye yesterday that I didn't think would be as emotional as it was. It was my official sending from my home church. I really didn't expect to cry or be upset. Pastor Miller's sermon talked about the verse where Christ tells Peter to walk on water. He talked to us about getting out of the boat and having faith, because Christ is there. Christ is there before we even get out of the boat. He tied in the youth mission trip to Niagara Falls, where their theme was "Move." Move out of the boat. Move in life...go to Jerusalem. The hymn of the day came next, which was How Firm a Foundation (507 in the LBW if you're curious). Verse 2 is: "Fear not, I am with you, oh, be not dismayed, for I am your God and will still give you aid; I'll strengthen you, help you, and cause you to stand, upheld by my righteousness, omnipotent hand." Again, I didn't cry or get upset during service, until this point. It was at this point that my mom put her hand around my waist and I realized what I was doing through her. In my perspective, I'm going to Jerusalem for a year, 'just 'cause', or to go experience the world. I realized that she's experiencing watching her baby grow up in a way. I am leaving the country for a year, which means no Christmas, Easter, Mother's Day, birthdays, etc, with her or my siblings. This hit me. Service continued and I had the official sending near the end of the service. This required me to kneel at the altar and have Pastor lay his hands on me. I felt like I was being knighted. How do you conceptualize that? I've been raised in that church and here they are supporting me, Merry Harber, the little acolyte and bell ringer from years past that always sits in the front pew with her family, where she usually writes notes to her brother and cracks jokes to her sister, to become a missionary in Israel! I got it. This is big! The recessional hymn was Eternal Father, Strong to Save (LBW 467), which was another hard moment. Verse 3 reads: "O Holy Spirit, who didst brood upon the chaos dark and rude, and bid its angry tumult cease, and give, for wild confusion, peace..." Give this chaos peace, God.

After service was over, I had another hit to the emotional stomach. There was a man visiting our church just for Sunday service. He and his wife were in town for a high school reunion and decided to come back to the church his wife grew up in. He approached me and grabbed my hand. We shook hands while he asked me questions about my year. I noticed that he was squeezing harder and harder and his eyes were filling with tears. I began to do the same, as I realized that my "just 'cause" trip meant huge things for a total stranger. He and I eventually were both crying and he wished me luck in my endeavors. I hugged him. It wasn't fake. It was real. It was an intense sharing of emotions where he was scared and excited for me all in the same embrace. He walked away and I turned to see Mo to my side. She was crying. I cried more. Mo has been my adopted grandma for years. She always sends me birthday cards and is so excited to see me in church. I love her and I realized that my "just 'cause" trip was affecting her too. She told me how scared she is for me and that it's not the safest place in the world to be visiting. This I know. It was another hard goodbye though. I continued to talk to several other people and hear their wishes for my future. I continued to cry and smile at the same time. I didn't know what else to do.

I am excited and scared. I feel a little guilty leaving those I love. I feel excited to see the Mount of Olives and other sacred places. I feel intimidated to know I need a prepared response to enter Israeli customs. I'm glad for the opportunity though. I'm proud that I'm taking a leap of faith. I'm excited to get out of the boat and try walking, even if it's "just 'cause" I feel like it.

Dear God,
Thank you for peace and love.
Amen.

Rainstorms and campfires

I'm starting to look at things and wonder if it's the last time I'm going to see them for a year. Granted, I won't be seeing a lot of friends and family for a year. I may also be missing frappucinos, tye-dye shirts, Reese's Cups, and rain. I joke about the other stuff, but there was a mini-rainstorm that appeared after lunch today. I just sat on the porch in one of the rocking chairs, which is one of my favorites of camp, and watched the rain. It was really beautiful. I don't know how much it rains in Jerusalem.

I also had my "last" campfire tonight. I'll never really have a last campfire, because they'll have to have an armed guard to keep me away from camp. I had my last one as a staff member though. I just feel like life is becoming a big list of goodbyes and "lasts." I feel somewhat like I am dying and have to finish my business. My last meals are coming up next week, along with my last hugs from my best friends.

It's good. I know it's right. It's just scary.

Dear God,
Thank you for giving us rainstorms, hugs that crack my back, rocking chairs, campfires, and all the other awesome things I loved today. Please be with the staff as they finish their last day with campers tomorrow. Please be with me to find peace with all that's going on in my head. Please also be with my friends and family who need your love and guidance. Amen.

The beginning...and the fear.

So...I guess it's finally time that I start using this to explain more. My name is Meredith Harber and you are likely viewing this blog because I invited you to understand more about my trip to Jerusalem. I know I'm going to ramble a lot in these blog postings. I also know that unless this includes spell check or grammar check, you will have to suffer my errors. Please comment lots and ask me questions about the process. This is designed to include YOU in my mission. I am not alone in this world and I'm not alone in Jerusalem. I need emotional support, but I need to share this with people. I need you to experience this with me.

Here's the life story to start out this process:

My name is Meredith Harber and I'm from a teeny tiny town called Marion Center, Pennsylvania. I've been raised by my mom. I have an older sister, Amanda, who is going into her second year of law school at Rutgers Camden, and a younger brother, Chip, who is going into his junior year at Penn State University. I graduated from Seton Hill University in May 2008 with my BA in Psychology. I have no intention of using a degree in Psychology, but I genuinely enjoyed studying the courses. I was heavily involved in my campus life (i.e. student ambassador, RA/Head RA, Student-body Activities Council, Habitat for Humanity, etc).

I began at Seton Hill with the intention of getting certified in Elementary/Special and Early Childhood Education; I wanted to be a teacher. It was obvious for me. I had wanted to do it since seventh grade. The spring of my junior year though, this plan started to "fall apart." I wasn't feeling the joy of being in a classroom and I wasn't feeling the connection of what I was doing to the kids. At the same time, I was starting to get these moments of feeling a sense of call to the church. I still don't even know how to explain it. In the summer of 2007, I sat and prayed a lot. I came to the sense that God was calling me to ordained ministry. I still doubt sometimes, but I feel like this is where I'm called.

So...I entered my senior year of college and dropped the certifications. This was fine, because I went to one of the few schools where you major in something other than education. I've spent the last year trying to listen to the new plan for life and what was involved in that process. I was insanely blessed with an opportunity to serve as the Director of Youth Ministry for a church near my school. It is crazy for me to look back and think about that process, because it brought me to the reason of why I'm even blogging about Jerusalem! I was informed about the position in the end of November, applied by the beginning of December, and heard nothing. I remember calling over Christmas break and trying to get some information. Everyone I talked to reminded me to be patient and understand that it was the "Christmas season" at the church. I still hadn't heard anything by early January, so I started to look for other options. I had convinced myself that I would love that job and that I would stay there after graduation. I would get an apartment and coach swimming, in addition to the position at the church. It was perfect...except I still hadn't been called.

I sat at my kitchen table talking to my mom one weekend about the people from my high school. We talked about the number of girls who were pregnant and/or married, and how scary that was! My mom said, "You're too young for all of that. Go! Do stuff! Go places!" Then, she got really solemn and said, "Mer, I probably shouldn't tell you this." I got nervous, because I thought she was going to tell me that someone had died or something crazy. She goes on to say, "I was reading the Seeds of Parish newsletter, and..." (I'm panicking here that the Lutheran church just passed a decree to eliminate women from ordained ministry) "...there's a program in Jordan that's like Habitat for Humanity." I was like, "That's awesome! I want to do it!" I read the article and immediately went and researched Global Mission work through the ELCA. I applied with their general application, until the kicked back and asked me to apply for the Young Adults in Global Mission Program. It was really crazy to fill out this application, because it asked for my country preferences. I listed like, Kenya, South Africa, and India, for no reason whatsoever. I sent this away and basically forgot about it.

The church finally called me about an interview. I interviewed Tuesday and they offered me the position. I made it clear that I would be excited for the opportunity, but that I would be going back to camp Lutherlyn and that I didn't know where I'd be after the summer. They accepted me lovingly and said they would feel honored to have me even for a few months. I accepted the position Thursday night and was introduced to the congregation Sunday morning, without even the council's approval! This floored me! First of all, I was ecstatic to have an opportunity where they understood my inability to guarantee a future with them. Second, the speed that this process moved was astounding. It took them two months to call me and a few days to have me in place. I believe this was definitely God in the works. I never would have been open to the opportunity for Global Mission had I been called in December for the job. I would have shut down and focused on the happy apartment/youth director/swim coach plan.

The YAGM program then accepted me and recommended that I interview for South Africa and Jerusalem/West Bank. I had no preference whatsoever. My mom got really excited for Jerusalem and told me to go there. She had seen TWO television specials and thought it was beautiful! I went to the discernment/interview weekend in Wisconsin with no preference. I was feeling more like I was going to Jerusalem, but with no concrete reason why. After interviewing with both country coordinators, I liked the interview with Jerusalem better, but I liked the country presentation for South Africa better. We were allowed to write our preference on an index card that could be used in the decisions. I didn't fill one out. I didn't know what to write! I remember that all of the YAGM interviewees were hanging out by a fire, singing our favorite camp songs and chattering away, with the one Global Mission staff member came and asked me if I had filled out a card. I said no and explained my reasoning. She asked if I had a preference, while on the phone with somebody in the deliberations. This was probably one of the scariest moments of my life. I gave up control, which is hard for me, and I said, "Nope, no preference. I'll go wherever." I was nauseous. The next morning they read the assignments. I was going to Jerusalem. Correction: I am going to Jerusalem. I leave for my orientation in Chicago two weeks from today. I fly to Tel Aviv three weeks from today. Holy scary.

What do I know about my life there? I know I'm working at a Lutheran school in Bethlehem. I know I'll have a "secure space/bedroom" in a flat in Beit Jala or Bethlehem. I know I am one of six Americans going with the YAGM program. I know we'll go to Jordan every three months to renew our visas, which means I'll be spending my first Thanksgiving away from my family in Jordan. I know that I will have to take other papers to have them stamped with the Israeli markings, so that I may enter other countries that "do not care" for the Israelis, to but it lightly. That's pretty much all I know. I watched a video of a sunrise service on the Mount of Olives for Easter morning and decided that's where I'll be spending my Easter morning! I know I'd like to visit Cairo when I'm there. I know I'll probably be hot...a lot.

I am really excited about this whole thing. I know I'm doing the right thing. I know that God has blessed me richly with opportunities for growth and learning. I get it...really. I'm just terrified right now though. I am leaving the country for a year. That means, I'm saying goodbye, or "See you later," to everything and more importantly, everyone I know. I don't get homesick. I love travel. I love new experiences. My mom even calls me the gypsy. It's fun! I love running around and being exposed to something radically different. I'm terrified about making that trip to Wal-mart though, where I buy a year's worth of Ibuprofen, Band-aids, and socks. I said goodbye to Seton Hill in May. I'm starting my Lutherlyn goodbyes (I affirmed my last campers ever on Friday night and sang on Chapel Hill with the staff for the last time tonight).

I can't say that this year is going to be easy. In fact, I know it's going to be hard. I know I'm going to be pushed and shoved and kicked around. I also know that God has been preparing me for this for at least a year that I can see, let alone the length of time He has been working on my personality and strengths. I'm excited and scared and wondering how this will all work out.

I really want to write a prayer out now, so here it goes.

Dear God,

Thank you for giving me this opportunity. Thank you for giving me the ambition to try this even though I'm terrified. Thank you for family and friends who support me and love me and take my hand when they see me crying on Chapel Hill. Thank you for surrounding me with the community of Lutherlyn to comfort me as I jet-set for this new world. Please bring me peace and patience. Let me cry, but give me people to rub my arm and just sit with me. Please also be with the people I have yet to meet. Please be with my family and friends as they are adjusting to the idea of me leaving for a year. God, I ask for and thank you for all of these things in your most precious and holy son, Jesus Christ. Amen.

Alright, I need to head to bed for the night, so I can finish out a strong week 8 at Lutherlyn! My last week on summer staff ever. My last everything. I feel like I'm dying. It's weird. I'm rambling. Good night.

Much love,
Meredith