Broken hearted.

I know I haven't blogged in awhile, and I apologize.  I can blame this partially on being so busy and hectic that sitting down to blog was the last priority.  I can also blame this on being so totally overwhelmed by living in an apartheid, that I can't even process God or faith or politics or anything related to anything of substance.  I know we've been told not to blog when we're highly emotional, but here it is.  

**Israel handed out 28 house demolition orders for the town of Nablus, in the West Bank.  What does this mean?  It means that Israel will bulldoze 28 houses, probably while people are at work or unware, within 10 minutes.  It means that they'll do this in another country, technically.  It would be like us showing up to Puerto Penasco, Mexico, and bulldozing houses, because we want the land.  http://www.maannews.net/en/index.php?opr=ShowDetails&ID=38242

**6 Palestinian men were beat to a bloody pulp as they stepped out of their car, on their way to work, to move the rocks that illegal Israeli settlers had placed in the road.  http://www.maannews.net/en/index.php?opr=ShowDetails&ID=38222

**Report shows that 30 Palestinians have been "seized" from Bethlehem and it's surrounding villages (Beit Sahour, Beit Jalla, Deheishah, etc), in the month of May, alone.  Seized means you were essentially kidnapped from your house in the middle of the night, or by force some other way.  

**The United Nations just sent a team of officials into Gaza to research whether or not there were war crimes during Project Lead (the war in Gaza in January).  1,400 Palestinians killed during a three-week assault.  Phosphorous was used.  Bombing schools was used.  Any cruelty you can name was used.  War crimes?  I surely hope that's an affirmative.

I'll refrain from continuing, because this probably not my most eloquently written blog, nor is it fair to connect this particular blog entry to the the church and my work here.  I must be honest and say though, when this is just a tiny sampling of the daily news stories, that I am frustrated.  I don't know where to tell you God is in all of this war and hatred.  How can I explain that Christ's love is abounding, when I know that every day, in my town and my neighboring towns, children get harrassed walking to school, adults get kidnapped, families fall to desperation, and people die.  This is not the Holy Land.  This is not God's land.  This is the work of men and of evil.  I cannot possibly tell you, in all of this pain and chaos, where I see God right now.  

I apologize if this isn't the light-hearted blog post about the cool "Jesus sites" or about my travel adventures.  This is the truth.  We can try to ignore it and push it out of our minds, but it is still there.  It is always there.  The loss of lives and the loss of quality of life is a constant in Palestine.  The variable is just the amount per day per village per family.  

I pray for all of you.  I pray that you may critically analyze not only Israel, Palestine, Hamas, Fattah, Israeli government, IDF soldiers, PNA soldiers, citizens, haters, and lovers, but critically analyze yourselves.  Where are we in all of this?  Have we contributed to this problem?  Have you contributed to the Occupation Wall that segregates families from being together or from picking olives?  Have I contributed to the children that get rocks thrown at them?  Have I contributed to men being brutally beaten?  Have I created war?  Worse yet, have I allowed all of this to continue, while remain placidly content in my comfortable American lifestyle?  How does all of this connect to our relationship with Mexico?  Or, any other country in the world, for that matter?  

I will end here before I further alienate any of my friends, family, and other people, who are reading this ranting blog entry.  This was written purely from sadness and rage at the immediate moment of reading the news articles that I've been avoiding for a few weeks, so I could live without feeling helplessly miserable for a bit.  

-Meredith